A Runner's Neurosis

For the past three weeks, or so, I have been fighting a cold and feeling sick for awhile. I've still been working out and running everyday, pushing through. This week, it got the best of me. I came down with a horrible sinus infection that kept me from my workouts for about five days (I've since gotten antibiotics and now I'm feeling better).

 This is is what I noticed while I was sick: The first few days of missing workouts, I felt guilty. Sort of like I was going to instantly become fat (Does anyone else experience this kind of self-punishment? Or am I just messed up?) In addition to this, I wanted to eat constantly. Maybe that was my body's way of trying to fight the infection. I don't know. By the last few days, I didn't feel guilty about missing the workouts anymore. It was almost like I had gotten past those feelings and just didn't care. By last night I was feeling much better and couldn't wait to start fresh. This morning, I went for a run, felt great, and everything in the world is right to me again :)

I never really feel guilty when I eat some ice cream or french fries, but I do feel like I punish myself when I miss a workout. I'm sure in addition to eating disorders, there are exercise disorders. I'm not to any extreme, but I realize in a world with so much pressure about body image, I have to keep myself in check. Not only for myself, but to set an example for my daughter.

Do you have any mental battles with yourself? How do you handle it?


1 comment:

  1. i agree when i have to stop running for some reason I eat like crazy, totally uncool!!